You can simplify your home with more ease and less stress by giving yourself permission slips to do things differently. Simplify your home, your day and your whole life … one tiny step at a time.
Until you begin to simplify your home, you might not think about your stuff or clutter as stressful. As you begin to create space around you, you may notice that it’s easier to take a deep breath and that you aren’t as distracted as you were before. Our stuff is always vying for our attention, “Look at me!” “Don’t forget me!” “Organize me.” “Clean me.” “Fix me.” More stuff means more cleaning, organizing and managing. It can be overwhelming especially because that’s not all you are responsible for taking care of in your life.
10 Gentle Permission Slips to Help you Simplify Your Home
As you simplify your home, use these permission slips as reminders to stay connected to why you want to pare down and what you want to make room for. For me, simplifying helps me feel less stressed and more present. It calms my mind which leads to more clarity and contentment. Those two things alone make life so much more enjoyable. We can’t control everything but (for the most part) we can decide what stays in our home and what has to go. Take your time and be mindful about how you feel while you simplify your home. When you aren’t sure on next steps, remember that how we simplify anything is how we simplify everything.
1. I can make space for more love and connection.
In my new book, Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want there is a chapter called Home Release to help you simplify your home. There is a permission slip at the end of each chapter and in the Home Release chapter the permission slip is, “My home isn’t just a place to keep my stuff. It’s a place for love and connection. I will make space for more of that.” This permission slip helps you simplify your home by reminding you that instead of making space for more stuff, you can make space for more life.
2. I don’t have to simplify my home overnight.
You didn’t clutter up your home overnight and you aren’t going to become clutter free overnight. Remove the pressure to get everything done at once. This decluttering process is a step by step, inch by inch, scarf by book by measuring cup process. If you place five things, one thing at a time in a box each day to donate, by the end of a month you’ll be 150 items lighter and by the end of a year, 1825 things lighter. Your one thing at a time efforts will lead to a clutter-free life. During your consistent process, toss in a decluttering challenge for more progress and momentum. A little burst here and there can be fun, but if it’s exhausting, slow down.
3. I will be gentle when letting go of my stuff.
Decluttering is one part dealing with your stuff and three parts dealing with your heart.
This is why letting go is hard. Because stuff isn’t just stuff in our hearts. Stuff is the moment someone said hello or goodbye. It’s a pair of shoes we never thought we could afford or decades of photos that remind us that we had a life. Stuff is dozens of report cards and yearbooks and it’s also 49 coffee cups (even though we always use our favorite one). All of that is true about stuff in our hearts and there is a possibility for fuller lives with less stress. With less stuff we can live with more ease and more clarity about what matters. You’ll have more time to engage in what you discover matters to you, more presence and connection with the people you love, better sleep, space for creativity and room to take care of yourself.
And even better news … there is a place in between ALL stuff and NO stuff that will allow you to not only shift your focus from defining who you are by what you own but also, to enjoy your favorite things. It’s your simplicity, your home, your life. You make the rules. Knowing that your heart may be holding on a little too tightly, be gentle with yourself. Go easy, take tiny steps, and lots of breaks as you work towards a more spacious, relaxed life.
4. I’m allowed to hide my stuff before I sell or donate it.
One thing that can get in the way of decluttering our stuff is overthinking how we declutter our stuff and simplify our homes. Some thoughts that may cross your mind and slow your progress include, “Should I sell or donate my stuff?” “Maybe I should keep that just in case I need it someday.” “I spent so much money on that.” “Someone gave that to me.” If you really want to sample simplicity, instead of figuring out what to do with everything, hide it for 60 days instead. Seriously! Box it all up and don’t label the boxes with anything except for, “donate after 60 days” and see what happens. If you don’t miss what’s in the boxes or even remember what you hid, it will be so much easier to let it go. Oh, and definitely declutter these 8 things from your life and these 75 things can go too.
5. It will be easier to simplify your home when you give yourself permission to admit that managing your stuff is overwhelming.
The problem isn’t your organizing skills, the problem is that you are dealing with too much. Don’t shame yourself into “getting more organized.” Instead, look at how much you are trying to carry now. I understand the idea of being organized, and the benefit of having organizational systems and routines but I also see that most of these systems were just created to help us save everything and store more stuff and get more done so we can bask in the glow of our productivity. I don’t care about those things. One of the reasons we are so easily overwhelmed is because we have so much to deal with. By turning your focus from organizing to living with less, you can create more margin so when bigger things happen they don’t completely upend your life. You need a buffer and some margin for the unexpected. Let’s face it, if organizing worked, we’d be organized by now.
6. I give myself permission to enjoy my favorite things.
If you want to enjoy your favorite things, only own your favorite things. How many coffee cups, holiday ornaments, water bottles, t-shirts, jeans, candles, vases, and other “things” do you own. I used to have so many of all of those things even though I always my had my favorites of each. When it all matters, none of it matters. If you want to enjoy your favorite things, only own your favorite things. Hold on to what matters, let go of the rest.
7. I can simplify my home without explaining myself to everyone.
Not everyone will be excited that you want to declutter, simplify your home and simplify your life. You don’t have to explain it especially if all that explaining is distracting you from the task at hand. It’s ok to let some people misunderstand you. This is real self care! Alica Lockhard said, “Life became a lot simpler when I decided just to let some people misunderstand me.” Proving and explaining why we are the way we are, why we like what we like, choose what we choose and believe what we believe is overrated and stressful. It’s not your job to make sure everyone understands.
8. I will define what enough means to me because I don’t want it all.
They told us we could have it all so that’s what we thought we should we have. We strived, and pushed and chased it all. And then we were tired, but we pushed through, so then we felt sick but forged ahead and then we were tired, sick and uninspired. When “all” finally became “too much” we realized that they told us we could have it all, but forgot to tell us that we might not want it. What if we don’t want to be it all, do it all or have it all? When you stop chasing, you find joy where you are. When you stop pushing, you rest. And when you consider what you want most of all instead of what you want more of, you realize what enough means to you. Defining enough will help you resist the call of more.
9. As I simplify my home, I will not get lost in guilt.
It’s easy to let guilt creep in as you let go the things you’ve been accumulating for your whole life. You might think about the money you spent and how hard you had to work to get that money to buy that thing you don’t care about anymore. You may feel guilt when you declutter the things that other people gave you, or things you think you are “supposed to” hold on to forever. Give yourself permission to reframe the guilt. You aren’t doing anything bad or wrong. Now that you know more about your life and what you actually want from it, you are making better decisions. Instead of feeling guilty, feel excited and proud that you are trusting yourself to do what’s best for you. That’s always a good thing!
10. I give myself permission to have a bigger reason to declutter and simplify my home.
Before I decluttered for reasons that resonated with my heart, my pattern was …
1. Read inspirational articles, see pretty pictures, declutter and make lots of space.
2. Feel all light and airy and accomplished.
3. Get uncomfortable with all that extra room.
4. Head to Target or add to cart and fill up all that lovely space.
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I did that over and over again, until I addressed the stress that clutter, emotional spending and shopping added to my life. Once I stopped filling the spaces, it was uncomfortable for a bit and then it was freeing. My brain could relax and I felt like I finally had room to breathe, dream, create and heal. Now, when I’m letting go of anything, I know it’s not to make room for more of the same. Instead, I make room for more life.
Here are 7 more permission slips to help you let go and thrive in your life. Get more gentle permission slips today and read Gentle, Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want.