10 Gentle Self-Care Practices and How to Prioritize Them
We need gentle self-care practices now more than ever. You are the only person who can give yourself permission to take care when you need it most. It really can’t wait anymore.
Self-care practices are important but it can be challenging to prioritize them. It’s hard to prioritize your own needs first when considering everything and everyone else that wants your attention. That said, just because it’s hard to put ourselves first doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. May these words today serve as encouragement to take good care of yourself.
Self care may sound selfish or indulgent but when you remember how much better you feel and how much more you have to give when you are taking good care, you’ll realize that it benefits everyone around you too. Even taking just a few minutes a day for yourself will be a powerful start.
What are examples of self-care practices?
Self-care practices are different for each of us. They also change as we change and our lifestyles change. While simplifying your life can give you more space and time for prioritizing yourself, all time and space is not created equal. While there will always be people and projects who want and/or need your attention, you need it more. You need it first. You need it now. When you look at your list of things to do and take care of for the day, where do you fall on the list? Are you even on the list?
Here are a few ways you may want to prioritize yourself:
- Go to bed early.
- Schedule a pedicure.
- Turn off your phone.
- Take a bath or shower.
- Cancel or reschedule your next appointment.
- Call your best friend (the one who knows how to love you).
- Join The Simplicity Space.
- Go for a walk.
- Bake something for your neighbor (and for yourself).
- Read Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want
- Do nothing.
- Get support.
- Sit still.
- Watch your favorite movie.
- Write a love letter to you.
- Make your own list of ways to take care.
Your self-care practices can be small and still meaningful. They can be unconventional and still very powerful. Take a moment to listen to what your heart needs and trust the answers. Trusting yourself is a self-care practice of it’s own that will open the door to protecting your peace and prioritizing your healing.
10 Gentle Self-Care Practices
1. Be thoughtful about where your energy goes.
Deciding what to wear requires mental energy better spent on other things. Wearing the same things over and over again may not sound like taking care of yourself at first but it’s a powerful self-care practice. I used to spend so much brain power buying things, chasing sales and figuring out what to wear. I remember trying on several outfits getting ready in the morning in hopes of finding the perfect thing. Now, in curating a small capsule wardrobe with Project 333, there are no daily decisions required. I get to wear my favorite things every day. Fewer decisions equal less decision fatigue and more calm and clarity.
2. Say “no” even when you aren’t busy.
Imagine that when you say, “no” even when you aren’t busy, you are saying, “yes” to you. You are saying, “yes” to how you want to spend your time, “yes” to taking care of you and potentially “yes” to going bed early or reading a great book. If you are used to always sacrificing your time and energy for things you don’t really care about, stop pleasing others by disappointing yourself.
3. Move your body.
Move your body every day. Work within your ability. Do what feels good. Try yoga or Pilates, strength training, walking or running. Stretch in bed and wiggle your toes before you get up. If you need help figuring out what is best with your body, consider working with a trainer, physical therapist or taking a group fitness class. Ignore the no pain, no gain advice and take really good care of yourself. Moving physically in different ways will improve your physical and mental health.
4. Put your hand on your heart.
“It’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, no, this is what is important.” – Iain Thomas. The world is yelling. Pay attention to me! Buy me! Watch this! Read this! Scroll all the way to the end! Get on this Zoom call! Do this! Feel this way! Not this way! And it will keep yelling. And you will keep putting your hand on your heart to remember what’s important to you. Even though things are different now, you still get to have boundaries. You still get to decide where your attention goes and when. And tomorrow, when things are different again, you can decide again.
5. Set and honor boundaries.
The self-care practice of setting and honoring boundaries will allow you to protect your time and energy. Just because someone doesn’t like your boundaries doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Boundaries and people not liking them are not mutually exclusive. For work, set clear boundaries about your vacation and out of office time. Express boundaries in your personal relationships too. Setting boundaries will likely feel uncomfortable at first. Keep practicing and it will get easier. Learn more about the art of setting boundaries here.
6. Caring less about what other people think is the ultimate self-care practice.
Self-care isn’t all about bubble baths and massages (although I quite enjoy both of those things). Real self-care may feel more unconventional. This quote from Georgia O’Keeffe always reminds me stay focused on what’s important. She said, “I have already settled it for myself so flattery and criticism go down the same drain and I am quite free.” These are words to live by for more joyful creating, easier breathing and a life that is full of peace and possibility. Caring less about what other people think of you is the ultimate self care practice.
7. Don’t be so good.
I remember crying to my therapist about why things weren’t working out when I tried to be so good. She made me rethink everything when she asked, “What’s so great about being good?” Right?! Instead of trying to be so good at everything, just be you. We expect so much from ourselves. Trying to be a “good” mom, friend, employee, boss, etc can be exhausting especially when we are measuring against impossible expectations. The truth is we can’t be good at everything all the time and when we try, it’s usually at the expense of our health. Being you is good enough.
8. Own less.
Decluttering is an underrated form of self care. Owning less stuff means cleaning less stuff. It also means caring for, worrying about and organizing less. Create less work for yourself by getting rid of anything you don’t want to take care of anymore. To help, try a decluttering challenge and if you get frustrated, try these seven tricks. Look around your home to see what’s getting your attention, time and energy. If it’s not worth it, let it go.
9. Simplicity is the way back to love.
If you don’t know what matters, get rid of anything that doesn’t. Chances are you are interested in simplifying your life because things feel a little heavy, or maybe you feel pulled in too many directions. When you try to juggle everything, you can’t enjoy anything. Simplicity is the way back to love, the way back to health and the way back to you.
10. There is no room for guilt.
Feeling guilty for taking care of yourself is not taking care of yourself. If you want to engage in self-care practices, do it guilt free. Here it is, your guilt-free permission slip to …
- Go to bed early (without doing one more thing.
- Drink water or a mocktail instead of drinking if you don’t feel like it.
- Cancel plans and read a book instead.
- Say “no” even when you aren’t busy.
- Unplug and disconnect from email or social media or the news.
- Speak and honor your boundaries.
How to Prioritize Your Self-Care Practices
Remember that self-care practices can’t wait.
That moment, when you think you don’t have time to take care of yourself, is the exact moment you have to take care of yourself. Self-care can’t be a “when I have time” thing or something extra or indulgent. It’s essential. Please, take care of you (especially when you don’t think you have time). If it’s time to rest, then rest. It it’s time for a walk, take a walk. Ask yourself what you need. Put yourself on the list.
Recognize that taking care of yourself is not a sacrifice.
Self-care doesn’t always mean adding something. Subtracting or giving up a habit or something else that isn’t serving you is powerful too. Give yourself permission to stop. You don’t have to stop. You get to stop. Stop things like … pushing through, overextending yourself, compromising your heart, proving yourself, doubting yourself and anything else that’s hurting you. Decide what you need to stop to enjoy your life even more. Then give yourself permission to stop. I’m so grateful that we get to stop; when we stop doing things like this, and we start tapping into what makes us feel good, what nourishes us, what makes us smile and allows us to relax, that’s when we make space for the gentlest side of ourselves.
This little trick has helped me stay committed to self-care practices.
Keep coming back. If you want to feel better, come back to healthy habits without guilt for letting them go. If a healthy life feels impossible due to the current situation, a scary diagnosis, chronic illness, crushing stress or old habits holding on, keep coming back. Coming back is your connection to hope, and there is healing in hope. Whatever it is that helps you feel better in your body, heart or mind, this is an invitation to come back to it. Come back to health. Come back to love. Come back to you. No RSVP required.
If you are just starting to you put yourself on the list of the things worth caring about or just coming back to your self-care practices, go slowly, be gentle and start small with tiny steps and kind words.