How To Avoid Holiday Overwhelm (say no to these 7 things)
If holiday overwhelm has started to shake your comfort and joy vibe, it’s not to late to shut it down or soften it dramatically. You can avoid or remove holiday overwhelm with some of the suggestions below.
Our holiday overwhelm comes from expectations, holiday events and gatherings, gift exchanging and other extras on top of our usual day-to-day work and responsibilities. We can’t expect to add another layer of to-dos and stress on top of the to-dos and stress that was already a little too much. It’s easy to understand the exhaustion we experience throughout the end of the year.
If you are wondering, why are the holidays so stressful, this article shares a few reasons. “When we try too hard to be happy, we make ourselves miserable,” There are in fact many potential traps during the holidays. The APA study revealed the top stressors include lack of time, money worries, gift-giving pressure and family get-togethers. The hassles of travel and worries about taking time off from work also make the list.”
I am going to give you a little list of how to remove or avoid holiday overwhelm but here’s the real secret … The simplest way to avoid holiday overwhelm is to say, “no” to almost everything. While you may have to say, “no” to other people, the person you will have to say it the most to will be you. If you think that sounds like a punishment, remember how when everything matters, nothing does. With less on your plate, you may be able to actually enjoy the holiday season this year.
Say no to these 7 things for more holiday joy.
Saying no can be hard, but this will help. Take a look at what you have coming up during the last month of the year. Avoid holiday overwhelm and say no to …
1. Buying things only because there is a sale.
Peter Walsh said, “If the best thing about it is the price, then it’s too expensive.” Say no to shopping for the best deal or buying things now because they are on sale that you might use later. I’m not suggesting you should overspend on items but be mindful about your motivation to purchase. Don’t buy just because someone told you today was the best day to buy. The best day for whom? Have you noticed that Black Friday lasts forever this year? There may be an exception for an expensive and needed household item but for the most part, you can mute all of the holiday sale nonsense and do this instead.
2. Baking and cooking instead of sleeping and resting.
Holiday meals can result in holiday overwhelm unless you are willing to focus on a few dishes instead of all of them. If preparing and serving a meal removes you from enjoying the holidays, do it differently. Let everyone bring something to the table. Be unconventional with your choices and remember that the time around the table is more valuable than the time in the kitchen. Ask for help, do less and say no.
I heard so many more people ordering out, dining out or dramatically simplifying their Thanksgiving dinners. They wanted to relax and enjoy instead. You don’t have to cram it all in. Even if you want to enjoy all of your holiday favorites, consider that you can enjoy them early next year too.
3. Sending holiday cards.
I enjoy sending thank you cards, and other thinking of you cards during the year, but holiday cards are just a little too much for me. It always turns into a bigger production than I imagine, and then they get lost in a sea of holiday cards. So for me it’s a no. Look at your holiday traditions and the things you think you are supposed to do. If sending holiday cards is something that adds to your holiday experience, send them. If you are sending them out of obligation and they contribute to holiday overwhelm, let it go. Apply to all the traditions you do with a little bit of resentment or annoyance.
4. Ignoring your budget.
There’s extra pressure to dine out, over shop, give gifts and more spending that you may not have the budget for. Respect your budget and say no to things that will leave you overextended. Consider your time and attention budgets too. If you want to get off the gift train all together, it may be time for this.
5. Hangovers and drinking stress.
I stopped drinking almost four years ago and worried that without a fancy cocktail or champagne, the holidays may not feel as festive. I was so wrong! If you are worried about navigating the holidays without alcohol or concerned about what other people might think, read this. Not drinking has reduced holiday overwhelm and overwhelm in general for me.
6. Buying new holiday decor.
I won’t buy new ornaments, outfits, festive dish ware or anything else I won’t want in my home post holiday (even though I think I want it in the name of holiday spirit). It’s not that I don’t think those glossy white plates with a gold foil stamped reindeer aren’t beautiful, or finding another sentimental ornament to add to the tree wouldn’t be somewhat meaningful.
The simple truth is that I have enough. I’d rather spend my time being content with what I have instead of being in search of something I’m missing. New holiday decor is tempting but take a look at what you have. Is it enough? If it is, be grateful. If there is plenty and you still want more, just know that it will never be enough. Eventually it will turn to clutter and contribute to your holiday overwhelm.
7. Rushing into the new year.
You can stop plotting and planning your new year, new you resolutions and enjoy a gentle January instead. I wrote about gentle January and other rituals to help you slow down and come back to yourself in Gentle, Rest More, Stress Less and Live the Life You Actually Want.
If your holiday overwhelm has turned into something more, stop holiday anxiety with these tips. It will also help to take advantage of these 3 holiday gifts (I do).
Make your “yes list” too. Embrace the holidays (and continue to avoid holiday overwhelm) and say yes to …
Prioritizing sleep and self-care. Years ago, I celebrated the holidays staying up too late and by over-committing and over-extending. I always got sick and felt badly about how I treated myself. Now things are different. I do the holidays differently (like I do my life differently) … with more love and intention. I don’t want to “survive” the holiday season or “get through” it. I want to enjoy and embrace it. Instead of abandoning the things I know are good for me in the name of enjoying the holiday season, I’ll sleep 7-8 hours a night, practice my morning routine daily and spend more time nourishing my body, heart and soul. Build in extra time to take care of you, even if that means leaving the party early. If you aren’t sure how to take care of yourself, try one of these recommendations.
Quiet walks in the snow (or the sun). The holidays are a time to connect, but in order to bring my best to the people I love spending time with, I have to spend time alone. I don’t apologize for that. Long walks, hot baths, and slow books give me the alone time I need so I can give everyone else what they need. If you need alone time, take it.
Delight. What if most of decisions were rooted in love and delight? I’ll say yes to all of this because it’s steeped in delight. I find delight in …
- Coziness and candlelight, sipping hot tea and watching the snow fall.
- Watching The Holiday.
- Baking cookies for the people in our homeless community. I know they need more, but they deserve delight too. Handing a small bag or tin of homemade cookies to someone with nothing is everything.
- Reading absolutely any book by Jenny Bayliss. I’m starting her new one now.
- 31 Days of Gifts You so Deserve. It’s not too late to join!
I will be saying yes to delight this year. Make a list of what delights you. That’s your yes list.
Leaving the dishes in the sink
It’s been our wintertime tradition to eat a big breakfast, head out to the slopes early to ski and leave the dirty dishes in the sink. I used to feel bad for leaving them but not anymore. The mountains are calling and the dishes can wait. What do you want to do instead of the dishes? That’s your yes list too.
Avoid holiday overwhelm by saying no to almost everything
If you honor every request with a yes, you will compromise your health, family, peace of mind, and the joy of living your life. If you don’t say no, there will be nothing left of you to say yes to. You will find more time, freedom and energy when you start saying no. Say yes to love, yes to delight and no to almost everything else. The holidays will still be as magical and meaningful if you scale back, say no and do a little less. You may even discover that because you decided to do things differently this year, the holidays are better than before.
Related: Take a look at our 5-step guide for decluttering to ward off the overwhelm all year long.